Showing posts with label Sexual Politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sexual Politics. Show all posts

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Just Saying No


[Originally posted on goofyblog 4.10.07]

Just Say No to No

From the Boston Globe:
In an emerging revolt against abstinence-only sex education, states are turning down millions of dollars in federal grants, unwilling to accept White House dictates that the money be used for classes focused almost exclusively on teaching chastity.

In Ohio, Governor Ted Strickland said that regardless of the state’s sluggish economic picture, he simply did not see the point in taking part in the controversial State Abstinence Education Grant program anymore.

Five other states — Connecticut, Rhode Island, Montana, New Jersey, and Wisconsin — have dropped out of the program or plan to do by the end of the year. The program is managed by a unit of the US Department of Heath and Human Service.

Strickland, like most of the other governors who are pulling the plug on the funding, said in pulling out of the program last month that it has too many restrictions and rules to be practical.

Man and Wife

[Originally posted on goofyblog 4.6.07]

Man and Wife podcast


The number one podcast show in the Health category is Man and Wife. It is the greatest! Sex advice every episode (there are about 20 now) in a video podcast by a stocky black couple. Their interplay could not possibly be scripted. They take calls, give out advice, fight a bit, all the while doing everything from shoveling snow in front of the house to soaking in the bath.

The advice is dead-on and the visuals of them doing the show together tell you all you need to know about how couples get along. They introduce every show with their 3 rules:
Check it out!
Savage Love
Dan Savage reviewed Joan Sewell’s I’d Rather Eat Chocolate: Learning to Love My Low Libido and Richard Dawkin’s The God Delusion last month:
I’m saddened to report that, according to Sewell … there’s no such thing as a woman who wants sex constantly. They don’t exist—never did.

All that yammering about women with voracious sexual appetites during Sex And The City’s long reign of terror? A cruel hoax. Women have naturally lower sex drives, Sewell writes. It’s a hormonal thing.

So if straight women don’t want sex—or as much sex—what do they want? Chocolate, says Sewell, or a good book.

For a while, women with high libidos were normal, and women with low libidos were freakish. Now women with low libidos can hand their husbands Sewell’s book and rip open a bag of Doritos.

But there’s a silver lining. Back when women with low libidos were regarded as abnormal—way back at the beginning of the month—it was fashionable to blame the man in a woman’s life for her lack of desire. For years, whenever I printed a letter from a guy who wasn’t getting any, or wasn’t getting much, mail would pour in from women insisting that he had to be doing something wrong.

I called them the “if only” letters: If only she didn’t have to do all the housework, she would want to have sex. If only he would talk with her about her day, she would want to have sex. If only she weren’t so exhausted from taking care of the kids, she would want to have sex. If only he didn’t ask for sex, she would want to have sex.

Well now, thanks to Sewell, straight guys everywhere know that it doesn’t matter how much housework you do, or how sincerely interested you are in her day, or how much of the child care you take on: She still won’t want to fuck you. So leave the dishes in the sink, grab a beer, and go play a video game, guys. Your “if only” nightmares are over.

One thing that hasn’t changed in the wake of Sewell’s book is my advice to women with low libidos: You can have strict monogamy or you can have a low libido, ladies, but you can’t have both.

And finally, a word about a book I have read: In The God Delusion, Richard Dawkins tears the intelligent-design idjits into a million little pieces. I feel bad about piling on—almost. Hey, intelligent-design idjits? If God really wants us to have heterosexual sex only, and then only within the bounds of holy matrimony, and if adultery offends Him so much—it’s a stoning offense, right up there with gay sex—how come He designed men and women to be sexually incompatible?

Well, I should say that He designed straight men and straight women to be sexually incompatible. Lesbian couples, with their bags of Doritos, and gay couples, with our mutually insatiable sexual appetites, seem pretty intelligently designed. Thank you, Jesus!
Dan now has podcasts and they are just about as good as his columns. His is the top podcast in the Sexuality sub-category under Health at iTunes. Check it out!

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Those Whacky Europeans

[Originally posted on goofyblog 2.21.07]

I’m not reading much of the New York Post as I used to. The Post is a Rupert Murdoch rag and it features regular editorials by such heavy thinkers as Michelle Malkin and Bill O’Reilly. The paper’s hard-news articles are either of the lock-’em-up-throw-away-the-key-true-crime variety of story or heavily-slanted-to-the-right national and international news. Throw in a dash of celebrity gossip (Page 6, Liz Smith and Cindy Adams), some sports news and media reviews, and there’s your 25-cent daily tabloid.

Nearly everyday I’d read through it, fascinated by all the crime stories and police-blotter news squibs. You realize: man, NYC is a violent city (well in some neighborhoods). You quickly come to the conclusion you should end your club going/bar hopping early. The shooting and fighting start about 4 AM, when the bars start closing.

That’s the stranger-on-stranger violence. The domestic-variety mayhem can happen anytime and there’s plenty of that too. Then there are the frequent stories of young women dumping their newborn babies. In dumpsters and other places. Some babies are found in time and are saved, some are not.

A woman would have to be really desperate to throw or give away the newborn that she had carried to term, but, in America, when a baby is discovered abandoned, even if it’s still alive, first thing is it becomes a police matter; great effort is expended to track and capture the mother, whereupon she is charged, tried and, if convicted, imprisoned. Our punitive way of looking at things.

In some places they do it differently though. I came upon the following story listening to BBC. I had no idea that the “foundling wheel” has been in existence for centuries. The concept is good: all emphasis is on the newborn and its survival. Check it out:

Dec. 15, 2006 — Italy has revived the medieval practice of establishing special depositories where parents can safely and anonymously abandon their unwanted newborn babies.

From the as far back as the 8th century, it was common for desperate mothers to lay an unwanted child on a wooden wheel, which was half inside the wall of a convent and half outside. This allowed mothers to leave their babies without been seen.

Today’s version of the so-called “foundling wheel,” follows the same concept, but has been updated. The new foundling wheel offers a heated cradle area and is located half inside the Casilino hospital in Rome.

In the old models, parents rang a bell once they had placed their baby in the wheel and turned it so the baby was wheeled inside. The new wheel is wired to automatically signal hospital employees when a baby has arrived.

Raffaela Milano, the Rome councilor for social affairs, said reviving the old tradition is an attempt to offer desperate mothers a “further option.”

“Under the Italian law any woman has the right to give birth anonymously in all hospitals. We created this wheel for those women who are not aware of this opportunity,” Milano said.

Located in a poor district with a high concentration of immigrants, the Casilino hospital has recorded the highest number of abandoned babies in Rome.

In the past three years, 26 babies were abandoned at birth in the hospital.

The first foundling wheel began functioning in Marseille, France in 1188. A decade later, Pope Innocent III, shocked by the number of dead babies found in the Tiber, founded Italy’s first revolving crib at the Hospital of Santo Spirito, on the Tiber embankment near the Vatican.The wheel concept spread, especially in the 13th and 14th centuries, and as late as the 19th century thousands of wheels were installed and thousands of babies were recovered across Europe.

[Photo by kind permission of http://www.babyklappe.info/ Walter Winckelmann - Metallarbeiten, Hamburg]


Cruel and Usual

[Originally posted on goofyblog 2.20.07]

In the never-ending attempts to legislate morality, US & State representatives rush to pass complicated laws on all aspects of sexual behavior. Laws are passed with ever more draconian penalties attached. The Hang ‘Em High mentality that pervades the legal community (judges, DAs, legislators, governors, presidents), our adversarial form of jurisprudence, insures injustice. Two recent examples are:

A Connecticut court is siding with the school system in the case of substitute teacher Julie Amero, who has been convicted for four counts of “risking injury to a child.” Amero now faces up to 40 years of jail time for pornographic pop-ups that appeared on a computer she was using in a classroom—pop-ups that she and her lawyers argue were a result of spy and adware on the computer, out-of-date virus software, and an expired firewall license—the perfect storm for pornographic pop-ups, all on a Windows 98 machine running Internet Explorer 5.

Amero was substituting for a middle-school English class and asked the regular teacher permission to use the computer to e-mail her husband. Amero left the room to use the restroom, and upon her return says that she found several students gathered around the machine looking at a web site. A series of unfortunate events occurred from this point on, resulting in a slew of pornographic pop-ups appearing on the screen. The onslaught continued despite Amero’s attempts to close the windows. Amero ran to get help from the teacher’s lounge, where she told four teachers and the assistant principal about the problem, and where another teacher reportedly told her to ignore the pop-ups. At some point, students attested to Amero’s attempts to block the screen with her hands and push students away.

In court, school officials testified that the school’s firewall software had indeed expired, that the anti-virus software on the computer was long out of date, and that there were no anti-spyware tools on the machine. The prosecution’s computer “expert,” a local police officer who investigates computer crimes, testified that the computer’s logs showed that Amero had voluntarily accessed pornographic sites.

A former teacher at the same school told the Washington Post’s Security Fix blog that the school had very few restrictions on what the children themselves were able to freely access on the school’s computers, saying, “You could look at any history in any computer and chances are you would see the children had [visited] inappropriate sites.”

Amero faces sentencing on March 2 and plans to appeal the case.

And this:

Genarlow Wilson sits in prison despite being a good son, a good athlete and high school student with a 3.2 GPA. He never had any criminal trouble. On the day he was to sit for the SAT, at seventeen years old, his life changed forever. He was arrested. In Douglas County he was accused of inappropriate sexual acts at a News Year’s Eve party. A jury acquitted him of the allegation of Rape but convicted him of Aggravated Child Molestation for a voluntary act of oral sex with another teenager. He was 17, and she was 15.

Along with the label “child molester” which will require him throughout his life to be on a sexual offender registry, Genarlow received a sentence of eleven years — a mandatory 10 years in prison and 1 year on probation.

On July 1st, the new Romeo and Juliet law went into effect in Georgia for any other teen that engages in consensual sexual acts. That change in the law means that no teen prosecuted for consensual oral sex could receive more than a 12 months sentence or be required to register as a sex offender.

Had this law been in effect when Genarlow Wilson was arrested, or had been done after the Marcus Dixon case, Genarlow would not now be in jail.

Genarlow and his mother are overjoyed that no one else in Georgia will have to know their pain. In the meantime, however, the legal fight goes on for Genarlow Wilson.

Genarlow has been incarcerated since February 25, 2005.

Update: the act was initiated by the 15 year old. Genarlow didn’t say no; he is doing 10 years without possibility of parole. More here.

Update II: Senator Emanuel D. Jones, a Democrat, sponsored legislation that would make it possible for judges to reconsider the cases of hundreds of young adults, including Mr. Wilson, who are serving long mandatory minimum sentences in prison for having consensual sex with teenage minors. Mr. Jones said the bill was mysteriously left off the agenda of the Senate Judiciary Committee last week.

And on Monday, the Senate’s leader, Eric Johnson, a Republican, publicly denounced the bill and said that although Mr. Wilson, now 20, was serving a harsh sentence, he deserved no leniency.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Hollaback at Me

[Originally posted on goofyblog 1.12.07]


Bearded, earlocked rabbi jumping out of mitzvah mobile: You, you’re Jewish — come in and hear what we have to say.
Shiksa: I’m not Jewish.
Bearded, earlocked rabbi: Yes you are, I can tell. Your mother is Jewish.
Shiksa: No one in my family is Jewish.
Bearded, earlocked rabbi: Maybe no one in your family practices, but Jewish blood is strong, and I can tell you have it.
Shiksa: Leave me alone or I’ll throw bacon at you.

–5th Ave

If the threat of thrown bacon doesn’t work, she has another remedy: take out the cell phone and snap a pic of the guy then post it to Hollaback New York, the site with the motto:

Holla Back NYC empowers New Yorkers to Holla Back at street harassers. Whether you’re commuting, lunching, partying, dancing, walking, chilling, drinking, or sunning, you have the right to feel safe, confident, and sexy, without being the object of some turd’s fantasy. So stop walkin’ on and Holla Back: Send us pics of street harassers!

Check it out!

Saturday, March 3, 2007

Reproductive News

[Originally posted on goofyblog 12.07.06]

Birth Control Billboard ProLife

Even though Democrats won control of Congress, the Bush Administration is extremely active in many areas, not the least of which is the Christian extremist bugaboo, sex and reproductive rights.

These whack jobs are in a distinct minority, but they still have the power and the influence and it’s like when will it end? The following has happened in just the past few weeks:
  • Last month, Eric Keroack was appointed Deputy Assistant Secretary for Population Affairs–the person responsible for dispensing hundreds of millions of dollars designed to ensure access to contraceptives and family planning information, especially for low-income women.But what background does he have for this position? His stated beliefs that condoms offer virtually no protection against STDs and Herpes, abstinence should be the only choice before marriage, pre-marital sex alters brain chemistry thus creating a physiological barrier to a happy marriage? More here.“Talk to any non-ideologically driven teen sex educator in the trenches, and they will tell you abstinence-only doesn’t work. Better yet, look at real research that was actually funded by our own government. The study was a $45 million project, funded by 17 separate federal agencies. Investigators interviewed more than 20,000 young people about virginity pledge programs [and] found that pledging will help teens delay sex for about 18 months [but] when they do have sex, pledgers are one-third less likely to use condoms.” Another study found the decline in teenage pregnancy in the US between ’95 and ’05 was due to improved contraception, not abstinence.
  • Also last month, rules permitting sex-segregated classes are now codified into our laws so now girls can be taught to take care of babies while boys can be taught to hunt “because of biological differences in the brain.” Forget that US schooling is 21st in math, 23rd in problem solving in relation to other developed nations. Forget the idea of gender equality and non-segregation. More here.
  • The Office on Violence Against Women has a new Acting Director, Mary Beth Buchanan, a pro-Patriot Act, anti-porn crusader having no qualifications for (or interest in) a position responsible for helping survivors of intimate partner violence, dating violence, sexual assault, and stalking. She was the prosecutor of Tommy Chong, who was convicted of selling bongs. More here.
  • Meanwhile, Bush is spending millions on abstinence-only programs for adults now. That’s right: $50 million will be spent to warn a 28 year old about the perils of having sex before marrying. More here.
  • Then there’s the fetal pain bill. The do-nothing Congress can’t pass any of the spending bills still on the table, but they have time to convene on this stupid, invasive, unnecessary intrusion of women’s bodies. More here.
Is it a national disease this anti-sexual bias in the government?

As Mark Morford points out in his hilarious article in the Chronicle last month:
“It is enough to make you wonder: Will there ever be, in our lifetime, a president, a Senate subcommittee, a government program that will dare emerge with a sex-positive, unashamed, salacious and delicious new guideline suggesting that we should all get naked as much as possible so long as we work to understand our bodies and enjoy ourselves responsibly and lovingly and respectfully and orgasmically because it shall make the country and the planet a better place?

“In other words, will there ever be a time when we can honestly look to the United States government for valid and reasonable and healthy and truly informative, positive information about human sexuality, information that does not embarrass us and humiliate us and insult our libidos the same way Dick Cheney insults sunlight? Do you already know the answer?”
Finally, in other reproductive news, the Vatican may be softening its stance on condom use and scientists in the UK have discovered a treatment which will stop men from ejaculating sperm, a truly male-based form of contraception. More here.

We live in an atmosphere of increasing repression of our sexual rights. It’s just another form of assault on our privacy and our freedoms. Where do all these people come from and how is it they have the influence they do? The morning after pill, anti-ejaculation treatments, Viagra/Levitra, Britney Spear’s clubbing wardrobe, all the expressions of sexuality in film and tv and yet there is still this enormous, onerous repressive group that keeps coming, never stopping.

On Location 9/28/2006

[Originally posted on goofyblog on 09.28.06]

When I was 20, I was living in a residence hotel in San Francisco on Pine across the street from the Bank of America building with my girlfriend, Janice. We had been there a week when the manager asked us to leave. Why? We had been honest and told him we were not married. This should not have surprised me. All my coupled-up friends had that same difficulty when trying to rent an apartment in Berkeley and San Francisco. Most of them dealt with it by wearing phony wedding rings and lying. I didn’t think that would be an issue in a weekly hotel, but it was.
That was in 1969. In the next 5 years, that issue disappeared completely from the social horizon in the Bay Area and in other parts of the country. It was as if somehow the whole issue of couples living together had suddenly become none of anybody’s business, which is what it should’ve been always anyway. Everybody just moved on.

Or did they?
In 1966, my first girlfriend in Berkeley told me about something relatively new: birth control pills. It meant we had the freedom to have sexual relations without the onus of potential pregnancy and having to consider getting an illegal abortion. I was astonished and greatly relieved. She told me that anyone could get them at Planned Parenthood. Indeed, the times were changing.

Or were they?
A year later, a good friend of mine, Cathy, called me over to her dorm room at the new co-ed housing off-campus. She answered her door, her face red from crying. She was pregnant, but she wasn’t ready. It had been an accidental pregnancy and she was in her second year studies. Becoming a mother at this stage felt to her like the end of her ambitions and dreams. The father hadn’t been able to deal and had backed out. I agreed to go with her to Mexico so she could get an abortion. Illegal abortions were being done somewhere in the Bay Area, but we didn’t know who and where. Before I could leave with her, her boyfriend decided he needed to do the right thing—he went with her to Mexico.

In the next 5 years, abortion in California first became quasi-legal (similar to current California medical marijuana law: the pregnant woman had to go to a doctor and explain that having a child at that particular point in her life would cause significant psychological damage. The doctor was then allowed to prescribe a legal abortion.). Within a year, the Supreme Court decided Roe v. Wade, granting nationwide legality. I breathed another sigh of relief. A woman’s right to choose when to have a family or more family was just basic common sense. So glad that issue was settled!

Or was it…