More Overheard

[Orginally posted on goofyblog 12.19.06]

Not all of these Overheard’s may be funny to you or your cup o’ tea, but it’s clear there’s a lot of raw dialog going on out there. Makes me want to take my ipod earplugs out and listen a lot more. Keep smilin’.

Bimbette: So, I’m thinking of breaking up with my boyfriend.
Friend: Why?
Bimbette: Because he cut his hair.
Friend: That’s just stupid.
Bimbette: No, you don’t understand how upset I was — he looked like he was in the Army.
Friend: So?
Bimbette: What if the terrorists think I’m with him? They’d bomb us both, and that’s just not happening.
–53rd & 6^th

Guy #1: Taking family members on a sex safari is not a good idea.
Guy #2: It was hardly a sex safari, idiot. I just took my brother to a massage parlor.
–Broadway & Canal

Chick #1: And they smoked pot like crazy!
Little kid: What’s pot?
Chick #2: Who the hell is talking to you? Go fuck yourself.
Kid runs away crying.
Chick #1: Kids today are terrible. Parents need to start beating their kids again.
Chick #2: Word.
–Tompkins Square Park Playground

The Only Insult that Hasn’t Lost Its Sting in This Town

Skater thug: Yo, watch where you’re fuckin’ goin’ before I fuck your ass up!
Suit: Shut up, you Kevin Federline-looking punk!
–2/3 train, 42nd St

College chick #1: I think I’m bisexual.
College chick #2: What do you mean, ‘think’?
Older guy behind them: What do you mean, ‘bisexual’?
–Express train

Yuppie mother: So, Dad said only if you’re really good and you don’t fight with your sister anymore, he’ll get you that new video game you wanted.
Kid: Dad’s a dick. Why’d you marry him, again?
–9th St & 6th Ave

Little girl: Oooh, furry! Mommy, can I pet the pretty, furry lady?
Old lady wearing a pink fur: Don’t worry, I get this all the time.
–47th & 5^th

Bimbette: What’s the plural of ‘Jesus’? Jesuses? Jesi?
Friend: Why would you ever need to pluralize ‘Jesus’? There’s only one!
Bimbette: Well, like, if you were at a Halloween party or something and you had to tell your friend ‘There were, like, eight Jesi at the party last night!’
Friend: Just stop talking.
–Grand Central

Chick #1: Yeah, Lovely Bones is my favorite book. Totally. What’s yours?
Chick #2: Oh, this book called On the Road. It’s by this guy, Jack Kerouac.
Chick #1: Yeah? What’s it about?
Chick #2: It’s about this beat stuff. ‘Cause the guy — he was, ya know, beat.
Chick #1: Beat?
Chick #2: Yeah, like, him and Allen Ginsberg wrote stuff and hitchhiked and dropped out of Columbia.
Chick #1: Oh my god. Why would you ever drop out of Columbia? Must have sucked to be them.
Chick #2: Yeah, I dunno. I guess they were, like, broke.
–6 train toward Bleecker

Bimbette #1: Have you ever noticed that lemon-lime soda tastes like urine after a few minutes of not drinking it?
Bimbette #2: Nope.
Bimbette #1: Well, it does. That’s why you have to keep drinking it — so it doesn’t taste bad. Then you get addicted to it and you buy more. It’s a clever marketing scheme.
Bimbette #2: Has the government been probing your brain lately?
–Grand Central

Ghetto girl: My boss makes us take off on Jewish holidays and don’t even pay us!
Ghetto friend: That’s messed up.
Ghetto girl: I know. I don’t celebrate no Yipper Kipper! I wanna say to him, ‘I ain’t Jewish, nigga.’
–L train

Woman #1: My husband smells his socks when he takes them off. Every time. Is that weird?
Woman #2: At least he doesn’t demand anal sex and then go cry in the bathroom.
–PATH train